If I Can't Dance at your Revolution...

There are three programmes on TV worth watching. The World Cup (that’s the soccer world cup, my Antipodean chums), the UEFA Cup, and the Eurovision Song Contest.

If you have neither the time nor the interest to worry about the love lives of vampires, the inane ramblings of a house full of twentysomething media tarts, or which B list celeb has twisted their ankle dancing, these programmes are events worth tuning in for.

Eurovision is the television event to end television events. Every year. Unlike the football counterparts, Eurovision manages the razzmatazz and the ratings annually. Each May an estimated 100 million people watch pop stars in sparkly suits sing something that the majority find incomprehensible in Serbo-Croat or Hebrew. Countries can put aside their human rights records and forget their crumbling economies and dance it up. Eurovision is splendid, over the top, and completely and utter pointless. It is, in short, perfect television.

And this year it’s in Russia! Who would have thought twenty years ago that this could happen? Now, instead of those grim-faced generals saluting their nuclear missiles at the May Day parade, they’re up on stage singing their hearts out. Bless them. And backing those post-punk gone-to-seedy boppers Tatu too. Good grief. It left me speechless, as every good Eurovision should do. Having most of the Red Army on stage was a reminder to all that Russia is still far from cute and cuddly, and that their military might is still something to beware of, particularly if you’re in a satellite state where the good natured breeze from a song contest might fan the sparks of self determination. At the side of the stage was a MiG fighter jet. Well, what else would you put in an international song competition when you have an unlimited budget? The cameras kept skirting it, but it was there… is this the first example of high tech weaponry as part of a Eurovision stage show? As Boney M once said, "oh, those Russians".

What does all this have to do with the environment? Where’s the message? Well, only this: If we are all to act to make some changes to the way we live, then we can most effectively do this by collective, not individual, action. Eurovision is a reminder that there are still things that are fun, ridiculous and utterly pointless that can galvanise us into some sort of shared experience. It serves as a reminder that having our preferences catered for in ever-increasing detail isolates us from our fellows. So, while many individuals will be curled up alone with the latest DVD of Twilight or Madmen on Saturday night, don’t forget that 100 million of us will be partying together. Go find a friend who's watching it and join in!